Hi everyone! I haven't blogged in awhile because there really hasn't been any good news about the adoption, and with the recent passing of Mother's and Father's Day, it was even harder for me to blog because this time of the year is very depressing for me.
I have found that, although I love spending time with my own parents on Mother's and Father's Day, these are still my 2 least favorite holidays of the year. Most of you probably won't or can't understand why. For an infertile like me, it is a yearly reminder that it is impossible to get pregnant. Impossible to give my parents that grandchild they deserve. Impossible to have a baby shower. Impossible to enjoy getting together with friends when 99% of them have children. Impossible to share pregnancy and childbirth stories with other women. Impossible for people to fathom that I have been with the same man for over 10 years and still don't have children. Impossible to have the one thing that I want the most. Do you know what that's like? Any of it? Probably not.
Many of you heard that we selected two children-one 7 year old boy and one 10 year old girl for adoption. We were told in May that our caseworker had contacted each child's caseworker and we would be receiving the full medical and psychological background on these children, and could then move forward. Just over a month ago, we talked to our caseworker's supervisor because we had not heard from our caseworker regarding these children. To make a long story short, she never contacted either one of these children's caseworkers! So, we never even had a shot at either one of these children. Now, we are potentially looking at 2 sisters both under the age of 7. If we are one of the couples that these children's caseworker is interested in, then we will be invited to speak to the caseworker. It's kinda like a job interview, because they ask us so many questions. And no, I do not know what the questions will be.
Happy Summer!
-Taryn
Showing posts with label sadness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sadness. Show all posts
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Thursday, December 29, 2011
2011-a look back
Hello! No new child news yet, but I thought I would take this time to reflect back on our year. It has been an eventful year, full of ups and downs. Here is a (brief) list of things I consider important that happened to us this year.
January-I traveled to New Jersey/New York with my Mom to help her with arrangements for my Uncle's funeral. He was my Mom's only brother and they were very close. It was difficult, not only to see everything, but it was hard to watch my Mom get upset knowing there was nothing I could do to help. The positive side was that I got to meet alot of my New York family that I didn't know so that was great. I got to meet my Great Aunt who is one of the most wonderful women on this planet. She is just a terrific lady who, at 81 years old, is more feisty than I am at times!
February-We officially begin the adoption process by attending orientation at the local DFCS office. We were so excited that we could not hold in our news and we began telling family and friends our good news. This is when we officially became "paper pregnant". Also, Russell began his new job!
March/April-Slowly begin paperwork, first home study completed. On April 20, our new niece Kylie was born! On April 25, our baby Sunny turned 8!
May-We unexpectedly lose Russell's mother on May 20. This was definitely, by far, the most difficult and saddest event of the year for both of us. It is extremely heartbreaking knowing that our child will never get to know either of their paternal grandparents. However, Russell's mother knew about and supported our adoption very much. She was one of our biggest cheerleaders. I am grateful that my parents have been supportive of both Russell and I through this ordeal.
June-Taryn's very busy summer reading program at work. Parenting classes start at the end of June. We meet some wonderful couples and single people who we hope, for their sake, are farther along in the process than we are. We hope that they have not had to deal with as much loss of paperwork and miscommunication as we have! During the classes, we received over 100 pages of paperwork to fill out.
July-Complete our 100+ page paperwork "Bible" for the adoption. Our first great nephew, Aiden, is born! Taryn breathes a sigh of relief as the summer reading program is over....until next year. :)
August-Nothing exciting happens because our paperwork was stuck under someone's desk for a month!! Talk about miscommunication...
September-Taryn turns the Big "3-0". Ouch! More miscommunication and paperwork from the case workers.... We begin going back to church and are enjoying the services, pastor, and meeting new people.
October-All paperwork is completed. Home study #2 is scheduled for November 1! Russell and I celebrated 8 wonderful years of marriage on the 11th.
November-Home studies #2 and #3 completed and passed with flying colors!
December-Case worker says we are in the middle of the approval process and everything is going as planned.
So what does 2012 hold in store for us? I'm not sure, but I hope that, by this time next year, I will posting about the cute things our child does or says, and hopefully asking advice from other parents!
Russell and I hope each and every one of you have a happy and safe New Year's holiday!
-Taryn
January-I traveled to New Jersey/New York with my Mom to help her with arrangements for my Uncle's funeral. He was my Mom's only brother and they were very close. It was difficult, not only to see everything, but it was hard to watch my Mom get upset knowing there was nothing I could do to help. The positive side was that I got to meet alot of my New York family that I didn't know so that was great. I got to meet my Great Aunt who is one of the most wonderful women on this planet. She is just a terrific lady who, at 81 years old, is more feisty than I am at times!
February-We officially begin the adoption process by attending orientation at the local DFCS office. We were so excited that we could not hold in our news and we began telling family and friends our good news. This is when we officially became "paper pregnant". Also, Russell began his new job!
March/April-Slowly begin paperwork, first home study completed. On April 20, our new niece Kylie was born! On April 25, our baby Sunny turned 8!
May-We unexpectedly lose Russell's mother on May 20. This was definitely, by far, the most difficult and saddest event of the year for both of us. It is extremely heartbreaking knowing that our child will never get to know either of their paternal grandparents. However, Russell's mother knew about and supported our adoption very much. She was one of our biggest cheerleaders. I am grateful that my parents have been supportive of both Russell and I through this ordeal.
June-Taryn's very busy summer reading program at work. Parenting classes start at the end of June. We meet some wonderful couples and single people who we hope, for their sake, are farther along in the process than we are. We hope that they have not had to deal with as much loss of paperwork and miscommunication as we have! During the classes, we received over 100 pages of paperwork to fill out.
July-Complete our 100+ page paperwork "Bible" for the adoption. Our first great nephew, Aiden, is born! Taryn breathes a sigh of relief as the summer reading program is over....until next year. :)
August-Nothing exciting happens because our paperwork was stuck under someone's desk for a month!! Talk about miscommunication...
September-Taryn turns the Big "3-0". Ouch! More miscommunication and paperwork from the case workers.... We begin going back to church and are enjoying the services, pastor, and meeting new people.
October-All paperwork is completed. Home study #2 is scheduled for November 1! Russell and I celebrated 8 wonderful years of marriage on the 11th.
November-Home studies #2 and #3 completed and passed with flying colors!
December-Case worker says we are in the middle of the approval process and everything is going as planned.
So what does 2012 hold in store for us? I'm not sure, but I hope that, by this time next year, I will posting about the cute things our child does or says, and hopefully asking advice from other parents!
Russell and I hope each and every one of you have a happy and safe New Year's holiday!
-Taryn
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Happy Mother's Day!?!?
Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there! Happy Mother's Day to everyone who can get pregnant at the drop of a hat, or just by saying the word "pregnant"! OK I said it, now I got it out of my system. Mother's Day brings so many mixed emotions for me.
The first emotion is happiness and love for my own mother and mother-in-law. That one comes easy, I am so grateful for all they have done for us in life. Russ and I are so grateful for their support during this journey to bring a child into our home.
Next is sadness-for the last several years, it's hurt me that Sunny is my only baby. I always wondered "Why can't it be me? Why can't I join that illustrious Mom club? It's just not fair! I know I've done some things that I'm not proud of in life (but everyone does that sometime in their lives), but why does God choose to punish me this way?"
Then is hope-This is the first Mother's Day that I have considered myself a "mom-to-be". This is the first Mother's Day that I have actually not cried and been upset, so I think I'm heading in the right direction.
Happy Mother's Day everyone!
-Taryn
The first emotion is happiness and love for my own mother and mother-in-law. That one comes easy, I am so grateful for all they have done for us in life. Russ and I are so grateful for their support during this journey to bring a child into our home.
Next is sadness-for the last several years, it's hurt me that Sunny is my only baby. I always wondered "Why can't it be me? Why can't I join that illustrious Mom club? It's just not fair! I know I've done some things that I'm not proud of in life (but everyone does that sometime in their lives), but why does God choose to punish me this way?"
Then is hope-This is the first Mother's Day that I have considered myself a "mom-to-be". This is the first Mother's Day that I have actually not cried and been upset, so I think I'm heading in the right direction.
Happy Mother's Day everyone!
-Taryn
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