Well, there is not much left to say but it's over. The adoption process is over. The state of Georgia has failed us. That's as much as I can say without breaking down and crying hysterically. Please don't ask us for any more details because it is too painful to talk about.
With that said, we have moved back home to Tally to lick our wounds, figure out our next move, and pray for a miracle. I will be shutting down this blog soon as it is too difficult for me to read the previous posts.
I don't know why we keep getting disappointed over and over and over and over and over again. All we want to do is build our family; we have tried for 7 years to build our family and nothing seems to work. I know that we are meant to be parents, but it's just ridiculously difficult to imagine why we are still not parents yet after trying so hard. I mean, all I want to do is be a Mom, why is that so hard? Everyone else can pop out a kid like it's nothing.
If you want to comfort us, please DO NOT say the following:
....It's okay, you're still young.
...Maybe you're just not meant to be parents.
...My friend did this and that and they have children now, etc.
...You just need to relax.
Also, as this is an extremely difficult situation for both of us, please don't try to make us feel better by telling us how you succeeded in building your family. We don't want anyone's pity or to hear anyone's success stories because it makes me sick.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Thanks for your support for almost the past two years.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Friday, August 3, 2012
Little Italy
So I told you all the other day I was going to start posting 2-3 days per week to focus on the positive aspects of our life. :) Today was a great day, we worked in Tallahassee this morning. But the best part was meeting my Mom for lunch at Little Italy. For those of you from Tallahassee, it's one of my favorite spots to eat. It's the cutest little place on Magnolia Drive in the Winn-Dixie shopping center. Mom and I both had the same thing we always have for lunch-Baked Ziti Sicilian. It's Baked Ziti filled with ricotta cheese and eggplant mixed into it. Our service was great, the food was great, and so was the experience! Little Italy is definitely our favorite Italian place to go in Tally to eat.
What are our plans for the weekend? RELAXING and enjoying ourselves and each other's company. Hope you all have a GREAT weekend!
What are our plans for the weekend? RELAXING and enjoying ourselves and each other's company. Hope you all have a GREAT weekend!
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Making some changes...
Hello everyone! I have decided to make some changes to this blog. While it is a blog about our adoption process and infertility, I have decided to post about our daily life and the positive things about our life. I will no longer be posting updates on Facebook, unless we have major news about the adoption. So for those of you who receive updates from Facebook, you'll just have to check on your own now! My goal is to blog about 2-3 times per week, so visit me and visit me often!
Several of you know that I have been really depressed about the adoption lately. But, I am trying to stay positive and focus on the many good things in my life while we wait...and wait...and wait for a child (or children) to come our way. I am realizing that I am so blessed with many things in my life...
...I have an amazing husband, the best anyone could ask for
...I am blessed with a beautiful, sweet, 4-legged baby (Sunny) whose unconditional love picks me up on my saddest days
...I have a great business. Although it can be busy and sometimes results in 12 hour days, I absolutely love it.
...I have wonderful family and friends who are supportive in our quest to become parents.
...The freedom to do what we want, when we want, and how we want while we wait to become parents
....I know there's more but I don't want to list it all right now.
And, daily life? I am so glad the end of the week is almost here! We are preparing for a very busy work week next week, so we are taking off tomorrow afternoon and Friday afternoon. Yeah!!
-Taryn
Several of you know that I have been really depressed about the adoption lately. But, I am trying to stay positive and focus on the many good things in my life while we wait...and wait...and wait for a child (or children) to come our way. I am realizing that I am so blessed with many things in my life...
...I have an amazing husband, the best anyone could ask for
...I am blessed with a beautiful, sweet, 4-legged baby (Sunny) whose unconditional love picks me up on my saddest days
...I have a great business. Although it can be busy and sometimes results in 12 hour days, I absolutely love it.
...I have wonderful family and friends who are supportive in our quest to become parents.
...The freedom to do what we want, when we want, and how we want while we wait to become parents
....I know there's more but I don't want to list it all right now.
And, daily life? I am so glad the end of the week is almost here! We are preparing for a very busy work week next week, so we are taking off tomorrow afternoon and Friday afternoon. Yeah!!
-Taryn
Friday, July 27, 2012
Just for laughs...enjoy!
Just for laughs...I feel I need to lighten up this blog once in a while! Enjoy!
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Giant steps back
Hi everyone! I haven't blogged in awhile because there really hasn't been any good news about the adoption, and with the recent passing of Mother's and Father's Day, it was even harder for me to blog because this time of the year is very depressing for me.
I have found that, although I love spending time with my own parents on Mother's and Father's Day, these are still my 2 least favorite holidays of the year. Most of you probably won't or can't understand why. For an infertile like me, it is a yearly reminder that it is impossible to get pregnant. Impossible to give my parents that grandchild they deserve. Impossible to have a baby shower. Impossible to enjoy getting together with friends when 99% of them have children. Impossible to share pregnancy and childbirth stories with other women. Impossible for people to fathom that I have been with the same man for over 10 years and still don't have children. Impossible to have the one thing that I want the most. Do you know what that's like? Any of it? Probably not.
Many of you heard that we selected two children-one 7 year old boy and one 10 year old girl for adoption. We were told in May that our caseworker had contacted each child's caseworker and we would be receiving the full medical and psychological background on these children, and could then move forward. Just over a month ago, we talked to our caseworker's supervisor because we had not heard from our caseworker regarding these children. To make a long story short, she never contacted either one of these children's caseworkers! So, we never even had a shot at either one of these children. Now, we are potentially looking at 2 sisters both under the age of 7. If we are one of the couples that these children's caseworker is interested in, then we will be invited to speak to the caseworker. It's kinda like a job interview, because they ask us so many questions. And no, I do not know what the questions will be.
Happy Summer!
-Taryn
I have found that, although I love spending time with my own parents on Mother's and Father's Day, these are still my 2 least favorite holidays of the year. Most of you probably won't or can't understand why. For an infertile like me, it is a yearly reminder that it is impossible to get pregnant. Impossible to give my parents that grandchild they deserve. Impossible to have a baby shower. Impossible to enjoy getting together with friends when 99% of them have children. Impossible to share pregnancy and childbirth stories with other women. Impossible for people to fathom that I have been with the same man for over 10 years and still don't have children. Impossible to have the one thing that I want the most. Do you know what that's like? Any of it? Probably not.
Many of you heard that we selected two children-one 7 year old boy and one 10 year old girl for adoption. We were told in May that our caseworker had contacted each child's caseworker and we would be receiving the full medical and psychological background on these children, and could then move forward. Just over a month ago, we talked to our caseworker's supervisor because we had not heard from our caseworker regarding these children. To make a long story short, she never contacted either one of these children's caseworkers! So, we never even had a shot at either one of these children. Now, we are potentially looking at 2 sisters both under the age of 7. If we are one of the couples that these children's caseworker is interested in, then we will be invited to speak to the caseworker. It's kinda like a job interview, because they ask us so many questions. And no, I do not know what the questions will be.
Happy Summer!
-Taryn
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Got our paperwork!
Warning: Rant ahead!
So on Thursday we received our long awaited paperwork! We received a packet of approximately 10 children that are legally free for adoption (that means their birth parents have already signed away their rights or had their rights taken away from them by the court). We have narrowed it down to 2 children. We will just say that there is one boy and one girl. We do not want to be any more specific right now due to privacy concerns. We have requested more information on these children, which means we will receive a full psychological and medical history on these children. After that, we will move forward. We are soo happy that the fun part is finally beginning!
Now on to Taryn's rant. If you get offended easily, you should probably stop right here.
Throughout this process, people have been really happy for us. Except for one person, but we choose to have nothing to do with her because she is generally an unhappy person in life and has never supported Russell and I, or anyone else for that matter, on any decision we have ever made about anything. We have always answered anyone's questions that they have had about our adoption process and like I said, people have always been really happy for us.
Tonight, I had an encounter that really upset, angered, and bothered me. I was talking to another woman about our adoption and she said, "Why don't you just adopt a newborn from state care? My friend did that and it is so much better than getting a kid who's older" Then, she just walked away and I started talking to someone else about our adoption, who was very sweet. What was worse was the way she said it, like she was looking down on us. To that person: I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I'm sorry I can't just get pregnant and pop out a kid like everyone else. I'm sorry you act like you're better than everyone else. I'm sorry that I'm, well, normal.
Oh, and by the way, if you disagree with what we are doing or how we are choosing to build our family, stop communicating with us altogether.
-Taryn
So on Thursday we received our long awaited paperwork! We received a packet of approximately 10 children that are legally free for adoption (that means their birth parents have already signed away their rights or had their rights taken away from them by the court). We have narrowed it down to 2 children. We will just say that there is one boy and one girl. We do not want to be any more specific right now due to privacy concerns. We have requested more information on these children, which means we will receive a full psychological and medical history on these children. After that, we will move forward. We are soo happy that the fun part is finally beginning!
Now on to Taryn's rant. If you get offended easily, you should probably stop right here.
Throughout this process, people have been really happy for us. Except for one person, but we choose to have nothing to do with her because she is generally an unhappy person in life and has never supported Russell and I, or anyone else for that matter, on any decision we have ever made about anything. We have always answered anyone's questions that they have had about our adoption process and like I said, people have always been really happy for us.
Tonight, I had an encounter that really upset, angered, and bothered me. I was talking to another woman about our adoption and she said, "Why don't you just adopt a newborn from state care? My friend did that and it is so much better than getting a kid who's older" Then, she just walked away and I started talking to someone else about our adoption, who was very sweet. What was worse was the way she said it, like she was looking down on us. To that person: I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I'm sorry I can't just get pregnant and pop out a kid like everyone else. I'm sorry you act like you're better than everyone else. I'm sorry that I'm, well, normal.
Oh, and by the way, if you disagree with what we are doing or how we are choosing to build our family, stop communicating with us altogether.
-Taryn
Monday, April 23, 2012
Getting Closer!
Happy Monday everyone! Hope you are all having a great start to the week so far! Today, Russell called our case worker to inquire as to the status of the adoption, and we got some great news! One of her colleagues is mailing us paperwork on children that need to be adopted. Once we get the paperwork, we can choose a child we are interested in adopting and will go forward with meeting the child and pursuing adoption.
We will be sure to update you all when we receive the paperwork. We are so excited!!! Finally getting closer!!
We will be sure to update you all when we receive the paperwork. We are so excited!!! Finally getting closer!!
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Let's play Match Game!
Hello all! I know it's been awhile since we've blogged but there has not been alot to blog about lately. Well, anything worthwhile, anyway. During the last month, somehow pieces of our paperwork got messed up (Again?!?!?!?!) and the ages of the children we wanted were confused. The ages we have requested are 0-10, and we have told the case workers that from day 1. At one point, they had that we would only accept children ages 1-4 or ages 0-5. We have never said either of these ranges so we don't know where they came up with this craziness. :)
Fast forward to this past Monday, the 19th. We called the case worker to find out the status of our paperwork, and we were able to get everything straight over the phone. For example, we confirmed (again) our age range (0-10) and discussed the level of special needs we will accept for a child. We will not go into this publicly on our blog because it violates our future child's privacy.
According to our case worker, our file for the State Adoption Unit has been updated to reflect these changes and the case workers throughout the state begin finding us a matching child (or children). Here's a cool dialogue of part of our conversation:
Case Worker: "We will begin finding a matching child or children for you starting next Monday."
Us: "That's great, but that will probably take awhile, right? Like, 6 months or so?"
Case Worker: "Actually, no. This part usually moves quicker than you think."
Wow! Maybe quicker than we think would be less than 6 months, lol. On a serious note, it is so exciting that case workers around the state (and especially our case worker) will be working hard to match us with a child (or children)!
If you remember that old game show "Match Game", this is where we got the title of this blog post from. We are so ready to be matched!! Not only are we playing the Match Game, we are also playing the Waiting Game. We certainly hope the matching game will be much more fun then the waiting game has been!
Fast forward to this past Monday, the 19th. We called the case worker to find out the status of our paperwork, and we were able to get everything straight over the phone. For example, we confirmed (again) our age range (0-10) and discussed the level of special needs we will accept for a child. We will not go into this publicly on our blog because it violates our future child's privacy.
According to our case worker, our file for the State Adoption Unit has been updated to reflect these changes and the case workers throughout the state begin finding us a matching child (or children). Here's a cool dialogue of part of our conversation:
Case Worker: "We will begin finding a matching child or children for you starting next Monday."
Us: "That's great, but that will probably take awhile, right? Like, 6 months or so?"
Case Worker: "Actually, no. This part usually moves quicker than you think."
Wow! Maybe quicker than we think would be less than 6 months, lol. On a serious note, it is so exciting that case workers around the state (and especially our case worker) will be working hard to match us with a child (or children)!
If you remember that old game show "Match Game", this is where we got the title of this blog post from. We are so ready to be matched!! Not only are we playing the Match Game, we are also playing the Waiting Game. We certainly hope the matching game will be much more fun then the waiting game has been!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
The official letter!
Okay, folks, our approval is officially official now!! Today, we received a letter from our case worker. I'll give you the main points here:
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Brown:
We are pleased to inform you that effective 1/17/12, you home has been granted full approval status to adopt 1-2 children ages birth to 10 years, any sex, race, or nationality.
Please know that any future placements of children in your home on adoptive status will require 6 months of placement supervision prior to the adoption finalization.
Congratulations, and please contact us with any questions/concerns.
Yippeeeeee!! We are sooo excited!!
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Brown:
We are pleased to inform you that effective 1/17/12, you home has been granted full approval status to adopt 1-2 children ages birth to 10 years, any sex, race, or nationality.
Please know that any future placements of children in your home on adoptive status will require 6 months of placement supervision prior to the adoption finalization.
Congratulations, and please contact us with any questions/concerns.
Yippeeeeee!! We are sooo excited!!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
It's Official!!
Hello wonderful blogger family, friends, and followers! We wanted to share the most exciting news with all of you! Today, we received a call from the case worker to let us know we have officially been APPROVED!!! She will be sending us an *official* letter next week to inform us of our approval and we will then be transferred to a new case worker, R. (Sorry, I can't disclose this person's name due to privacy reasons.) R. is great because she is the one who works directly with children and adoptive parents!! We are being placed into the state adoption database now, so the case workers who are responsible for the children in state care can see that we are potential adoptive parents.
What happens now? When a potential match is found, R. will contact us with as many details about the child (or children) as they have. If we decide to proceed, then we meet with R., the child's case worker, the child's foster parents (if they are in foster care), and several managers from the local DFCS to discuss this further. If we still decide to proceed with meeting the child (or children), we will meet the child and spend hour-long visits with them. The hour-long visits then turn in to an afternoon, then overnight, then a weekend, and then possibly a week-long stay. If all of the above visits are successful, then the child (or children) will move in with us and then we will begin the process of finalizing the adoption and the child (or children) will be legally ours!!!
When is all this going to happen, you ask? Well, we're not really sure. Our current case worker told us we could get a call as early as next week, or 6-8 months from now (or even longer). For now, we have decided not to make any long-term plans and to take everything one day at a time. We don't know what's going to happen, so taking it one day at a time is all we can do.
We are soooo happy!! We have waited so long to become parents and we know that we have just a small amount of time left. This is the beginning of the end of the process!
We will post again soon!
What happens now? When a potential match is found, R. will contact us with as many details about the child (or children) as they have. If we decide to proceed, then we meet with R., the child's case worker, the child's foster parents (if they are in foster care), and several managers from the local DFCS to discuss this further. If we still decide to proceed with meeting the child (or children), we will meet the child and spend hour-long visits with them. The hour-long visits then turn in to an afternoon, then overnight, then a weekend, and then possibly a week-long stay. If all of the above visits are successful, then the child (or children) will move in with us and then we will begin the process of finalizing the adoption and the child (or children) will be legally ours!!!
When is all this going to happen, you ask? Well, we're not really sure. Our current case worker told us we could get a call as early as next week, or 6-8 months from now (or even longer). For now, we have decided not to make any long-term plans and to take everything one day at a time. We don't know what's going to happen, so taking it one day at a time is all we can do.
We are soooo happy!! We have waited so long to become parents and we know that we have just a small amount of time left. This is the beginning of the end of the process!
We will post again soon!
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Approval Process Update!
Hello! Just a very quick update in the middle of a very busy week! Russell spoke with our case worker on Monday and we should have our approval from the state by Friday! We need you all to cross your fingers, think about us, pray for us, and everything else you can do to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we hope so desperately to be approved by Friday!
Have a great week everyone! Will blog again when we know more!
Have a great week everyone! Will blog again when we know more!
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